You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
