There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
