I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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