is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
