Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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