worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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