and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
