it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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