I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
