I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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