Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want nice things and good sex
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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