she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
