Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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