Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
