I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
