Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
