help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
foreskin is a definite game changer
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
