You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
