my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
