Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Be still, my beating vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
