wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
