is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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