1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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