Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
