What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
