Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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