she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
