Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
