Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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