Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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