I bet he comes in French.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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