Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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