I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
