I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
