just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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