she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
