Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
