I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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