You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
