This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
