So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MIDGETS
????
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
