oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
handjob tips. give me some.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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