he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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