if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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