So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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