i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
