i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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