I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
