i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
