Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
