Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
