He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
