Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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