if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
