He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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